Choose Life.
Choose a job.
Choose a career.
Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television,
choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers.
Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance.
Choose fixed interest mortage repayments.
Choose a starter home.
Choose your friends.
Choose leisurewear and matching luggage.
Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows,
stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all,
pishing your last in a miserable home,
nothing more than an embarrassment
to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself.
Choose your future.
Choose life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJzX9i24IKs
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Marketing
If there is one subject which is full of self-important jargon it is marketing.
Try some of these on for size.
We should leverage our core competencies to target the value for money segment.
By optimizing the usage of the 4Ps we shall provide a value proposition to all our stakeholders.
We will position our brand to attain relevant synergies with the consumer.
I could go on. One year in MBA has given me this tool with which I can "pfaff" with ease. Pfaff(P silent) - the latest word added to my vocabulary. One which in its simple structure covers the entire course of MBA.
MBA is all Pfaff. What does Pfaff mean? It means making stuff up as you go along, all the while enclosing it in a mist of meaningful sounding jargon to hide the fact that all you are saying is utter bullshit. In a way all MBAs learn to be confidence men or shysters. Some get better at it. Some like me initially rebel against it but later join in the flow.
Because its easier to do so and more practical.
Try some of these on for size.
We should leverage our core competencies to target the value for money segment.
By optimizing the usage of the 4Ps we shall provide a value proposition to all our stakeholders.
We will position our brand to attain relevant synergies with the consumer.
I could go on. One year in MBA has given me this tool with which I can "pfaff" with ease. Pfaff(P silent) - the latest word added to my vocabulary. One which in its simple structure covers the entire course of MBA.
MBA is all Pfaff. What does Pfaff mean? It means making stuff up as you go along, all the while enclosing it in a mist of meaningful sounding jargon to hide the fact that all you are saying is utter bullshit. In a way all MBAs learn to be confidence men or shysters. Some get better at it. Some like me initially rebel against it but later join in the flow.
Because its easier to do so and more practical.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Wretched thoughts
There is a nihilistic urge within me that threatens to immolate me. I feel I could self combust at any instant such is the nature of the urge. It has been caused by my inability in the recent past to have any kind of control or be able to harness my thoughts and my actions.
I despair. I despair at my inability to wake up from my slumber. It is as if a part of me has been blindfolded, ruthlessly cut off from the rest of my being. I find solace in writing this down. Slowly I find my frustration ebbing as if the inner clutter is being swept away. I glance at my hands as they type, tippety-tap, on the keyboard. I wonder how I'd live without them. To be rudderless in an ocean of misery.
But then my mood lifts. It was all due to a game I had begun with someone. Trying to infect that person with my negativism. And it seemed to work. I seemed to have transferred my fury and rage and incoherence and the translucent haze was lifted off my mind. I could see clearly how facetious I had truly been, how all these words and thoughts were an elaborate charade, created by a bored intellect and mistaken for torpor. I could see through the self important claptrap and suddenly I realized. I need to stop typing and start studying.
Oh wretched BDA, you soporific subject taught by that odious demagogue, I take a stab at you again!
I despair. I despair at my inability to wake up from my slumber. It is as if a part of me has been blindfolded, ruthlessly cut off from the rest of my being. I find solace in writing this down. Slowly I find my frustration ebbing as if the inner clutter is being swept away. I glance at my hands as they type, tippety-tap, on the keyboard. I wonder how I'd live without them. To be rudderless in an ocean of misery.
But then my mood lifts. It was all due to a game I had begun with someone. Trying to infect that person with my negativism. And it seemed to work. I seemed to have transferred my fury and rage and incoherence and the translucent haze was lifted off my mind. I could see clearly how facetious I had truly been, how all these words and thoughts were an elaborate charade, created by a bored intellect and mistaken for torpor. I could see through the self important claptrap and suddenly I realized. I need to stop typing and start studying.
Oh wretched BDA, you soporific subject taught by that odious demagogue, I take a stab at you again!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
A walk amidst the clouds
Living on a hill has its benefits.
I have been in Lavale for four months now and finally did I find some time to visit this space and relive the old routine of typing some shit.
An MBA life is curiously enchanting. You rarely sleep before 2 A.M. You learn to read up for presentations an hour before. In fact guys get to learn a trick that girls have mastered instinctively - Multi tasking.
The campus is in its first year of operation and by now most of the glitches have been sorted out. The air is clean and healthy without a trace of the slightest pollutants, and for someone who hails from the perennially polluted Mumbai, this is a pleasant change. Of course, since this isn't Mumbai, electricity and water shortages are omni-present challenges, but the administration is dealing with it to the best of its limited capabilities.
To tell the truth I haven't found an MBA course to be much helpful so far. It seems to be just repackaging of common concepts and the examinations especially are pretty bullshitty. I expected post-grad exams to do a serious testing of your concepts and check your utilization of those concepts in practical scenarios. But so far all the exams have been similar to our school exams wherein we by-heart a topic and then vomit a short-note on it.
Of course, its not all crap. There are some good things in the course also. But all the good things only come to those who are willing to participate in either the student council activities, the inter b-school management fests or some case-study competitions etc. If you just depend on the school curriculum you are pretty much not gonna learn anything.
And finally, the biggest learning comes through the 2-3 months of your summer internship process. Thats when you get a feel of what is in store for you post degree and how suited you are to it. It is a time to experiment and hence it is extremely vital that you either a) Enter into a good b-school which will attract the best companies across India b) or have good personal contacts to get you into one of those companies.
So far, I have seen things which haven't been upto my expectations, but who knows maybe my expectations were themselves flawed.
As Bryan Adams (or maybe Aerosmith) sang, "life's a journey not a destination."
I have embarked upon an interesting journey. I have consciously chosen to throw away the safety net of my IT job and swim into deep unknown waters, especially with the economy being in such a roughed up state.
Wherever i may reach, it will definitely be far away from my current comfort zone.
I have been in Lavale for four months now and finally did I find some time to visit this space and relive the old routine of typing some shit.
An MBA life is curiously enchanting. You rarely sleep before 2 A.M. You learn to read up for presentations an hour before. In fact guys get to learn a trick that girls have mastered instinctively - Multi tasking.
The campus is in its first year of operation and by now most of the glitches have been sorted out. The air is clean and healthy without a trace of the slightest pollutants, and for someone who hails from the perennially polluted Mumbai, this is a pleasant change. Of course, since this isn't Mumbai, electricity and water shortages are omni-present challenges, but the administration is dealing with it to the best of its limited capabilities.
To tell the truth I haven't found an MBA course to be much helpful so far. It seems to be just repackaging of common concepts and the examinations especially are pretty bullshitty. I expected post-grad exams to do a serious testing of your concepts and check your utilization of those concepts in practical scenarios. But so far all the exams have been similar to our school exams wherein we by-heart a topic and then vomit a short-note on it.
Of course, its not all crap. There are some good things in the course also. But all the good things only come to those who are willing to participate in either the student council activities, the inter b-school management fests or some case-study competitions etc. If you just depend on the school curriculum you are pretty much not gonna learn anything.
And finally, the biggest learning comes through the 2-3 months of your summer internship process. Thats when you get a feel of what is in store for you post degree and how suited you are to it. It is a time to experiment and hence it is extremely vital that you either a) Enter into a good b-school which will attract the best companies across India b) or have good personal contacts to get you into one of those companies.
So far, I have seen things which haven't been upto my expectations, but who knows maybe my expectations were themselves flawed.
As Bryan Adams (or maybe Aerosmith) sang, "life's a journey not a destination."
I have embarked upon an interesting journey. I have consciously chosen to throw away the safety net of my IT job and swim into deep unknown waters, especially with the economy being in such a roughed up state.
Wherever i may reach, it will definitely be far away from my current comfort zone.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Chala murari hero banane
In other words Chala Santosh MBA Banane.
I will be leaving for a village called as Lavale (pronounced "Love-Lay") on the outskirts of Pune to pursue a two-year full time MBA course in Symbiosis Institute of Business Management (SIBM).
By the time I return I might well be singing the song - "Suit Boot mein aaya Kanhaiya ..."
I know I haven't blogged a lot in the recent past. I had been too busy living out a lazy life in front of the Television. God alone knows when I get another chance like this again.
I will be blogging about my (mis)experiences at SIBM and even though I know that very few people do read my blog (but naturally, after all look at the competition I face from fellow bloggers like Amitabh Bachchan and Aamir Khan to name a few) I will be posting regularly.
A question I have been asked sporadically in the past few days by some of my friends is if I would continue writing my Bat-Bubba/Abnerobin/Hariteman spoofeventures. The answer to it is, of course, why not!
So adios muchachos, I am just gonna undergo a change of my operations base, everything else stays the same.
p.s. If you are wondering about the title, well, it is the name of a Hindi movie in the 80s starring Asrani! Yes! Asrani! I wonder how many of you'll knew this ...
I will be leaving for a village called as Lavale (pronounced "Love-Lay") on the outskirts of Pune to pursue a two-year full time MBA course in Symbiosis Institute of Business Management (SIBM).
By the time I return I might well be singing the song - "Suit Boot mein aaya Kanhaiya ..."
I know I haven't blogged a lot in the recent past. I had been too busy living out a lazy life in front of the Television. God alone knows when I get another chance like this again.
I will be blogging about my (mis)experiences at SIBM and even though I know that very few people do read my blog (but naturally, after all look at the competition I face from fellow bloggers like Amitabh Bachchan and Aamir Khan to name a few) I will be posting regularly.
A question I have been asked sporadically in the past few days by some of my friends is if I would continue writing my Bat-Bubba/Abnerobin/Hariteman spoofeventures. The answer to it is, of course, why not!
So adios muchachos, I am just gonna undergo a change of my operations base, everything else stays the same.
p.s. If you are wondering about the title, well, it is the name of a Hindi movie in the 80s starring Asrani! Yes! Asrani! I wonder how many of you'll knew this ...
Monday, May 12, 2008
I do declare in a solemn voice ...
I have recently noticed this trend, of people deleting information from their social networking pages such as Orkut, Facebook. People have ensured that unfavourable comments and information about them written by their friends in more carefree times have been removed. This excessive anxiety has been brought about by the recent trend of recruiters checking the web for incriminating information about potential employees.
I find this tactic ridiculous and derisive. I mean, how does my social life have any bearing on how I am able to conduct myself professionally. Will my friends calling me a sad weasel make my coding skills any less efficient.
So this is a declaration to any recruiter who wants to gain ideas about my personality through my blog ... What I write here isn't who I am ... neither will the comments by my friends give you the slightest clue to my personality... And this post shall never be deleted ... And if you still have gained a negative impression about me ...then I do declare in a solemn voice ... Recruit my ass...
I find this tactic ridiculous and derisive. I mean, how does my social life have any bearing on how I am able to conduct myself professionally. Will my friends calling me a sad weasel make my coding skills any less efficient.
So this is a declaration to any recruiter who wants to gain ideas about my personality through my blog ... What I write here isn't who I am ... neither will the comments by my friends give you the slightest clue to my personality... And this post shall never be deleted ... And if you still have gained a negative impression about me ...then I do declare in a solemn voice ... Recruit my ass...
Le Festin .. translated
J'adore cette chanson.
Je n'ai pas écrit ce ... Mais je tiens j'avais.
Je vous donne ... Le Festin
Dreams are to lovers as wine is to friends
Carried through lifetimes, (and) spilled now and then
I am driven by hunger, so saddened to be
Thieving in darkness; I know you’re not pleased
But nothing worth eating is free
My hope is a banquet impatiently downed
Impossibly full, now I’ll probably drown
Many thieves’ lives are lonely with one mouth to feed
If giving means taking, I’ll never succeed
For nothing worth stealing is…
Free at last; won’t be undersold
Surviving isn’t living; won’t eat what I’m told
Let me free, I’ll astonish you; I’m planning to fly
I won’t let this party just pass me by
The banquet is now underway, so…
Bring out the bottles; a new tale has spun
In clearing this table, my new life’s begun
I am nervous, excited; (oh) just read the marquee!
A lifetime of hiding; I’m suddenly free!
My dinner is waiting for me
A lifetime of hiding; I’m suddenly free!
My dinner is waiting for me
Je n'ai pas écrit ce ... Mais je tiens j'avais.
Je vous donne ... Le Festin
Dreams are to lovers as wine is to friends
Carried through lifetimes, (and) spilled now and then
I am driven by hunger, so saddened to be
Thieving in darkness; I know you’re not pleased
But nothing worth eating is free
My hope is a banquet impatiently downed
Impossibly full, now I’ll probably drown
Many thieves’ lives are lonely with one mouth to feed
If giving means taking, I’ll never succeed
For nothing worth stealing is…
Free at last; won’t be undersold
Surviving isn’t living; won’t eat what I’m told
Let me free, I’ll astonish you; I’m planning to fly
I won’t let this party just pass me by
The banquet is now underway, so…
Bring out the bottles; a new tale has spun
In clearing this table, my new life’s begun
I am nervous, excited; (oh) just read the marquee!
A lifetime of hiding; I’m suddenly free!
My dinner is waiting for me
A lifetime of hiding; I’m suddenly free!
My dinner is waiting for me
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