I am Legend (Yeah rite! Santosh!)

Coupla' weeks ago I happened to catch the Will Smith starrer I am Legend, a tale about apparently the last man on the earth, after the rest of humanity was wiped out by a virus which turned survivors into carnivorous vampire-zombie hybrids (or vombies). I found the movie to be a hugely wasted opportunity which squandered its interesting ideas for some unconvincing action scenes with hokey CGI-rendered creatures.


But the basic premise did revisit me back to the days when I was a kid and used to fantasise about being the last human alive. Imagine! A world all to myself! The adventures I would have!

Now that I have grown up I realize how foolish those kiddie notions of mine were! Every adult male in every specie knows that his primary function in this world is to procreate and further his race. So being the last man (or woman) alive would completely negate this primary function and thus make the purpose of his existence void.

So that means that a Last Woman on the Earth would be needed as well. This would solve the immediate problem of procreation (a very important solution none the less) but still would be of no use in furthering the race, because inbreeding and its associated genetic damage would ensure that not many further generations would be spawned.

This is the major reason why I do not believe in the Adam and Eve concept because that would make us all genetically mutated freaks related to each other.

A possible (and extremely pleasurable) solution could be that I would still be the last man on earth but the women on earth would still be represented in a sizable number. But even this argument provides many problems.
A. The inbreeding issue would still remain.
B. One man among many women will give rise to jealousies, hatred and would eventually lead to my death in case a tug - of - war like situation developed for possession of me.

So eventually this would necessitate the presence of another male and thus the entire fantasy of being the last man alive would come crashing down.
Maybe last man alive per country would not be such a bad idea!

p.s. On a serious note, leaving aside the sexist undertones of this post where I wish for a situation of many woman to few men, there lies a serious danger of the reverse case occurring, especially in a country which is so happy with aborting female fetuses and infanticide. I hope people realize, that without a balanced sex ratio, the country will witness more cases of desperate acts by a sexually frustrated male population. No one bloody well ever thinks of the bigger picture. Its time they started to do so!

This is Social Reformer Santosh signing out!

The beginning

The streetlight had dimmed. The clock struck ten.

Yadav yawned. Today business in the evening had been really poor for Yadav Bhelpuri, Panipuri wala. Normally these were the peak hours. But today the Indo - Pak 20/20 cricket match was going on and everyone was safely ensconced in their living rooms glued to their television screens. It was time to pack up. No one would come tonight, Yadav thought with sadness and disappointment.
If business was going to continue in this fashion, he would not make enough money to return to his home town in Samastipur, Bihar any time soon. It had been ages since he had met his parents, his ailing father and his over worked mother.
He remembered what Gajanand had said about a spate of robberies in this area recently. It was apparently a gang who had begun their operations there and didn't hesitate to murder their victim when he/she tried to resist.
He shivered slightly and started to pack up his thela.

Suddenly he heard a sound behind him and immediately felt the touch of cold steel against his neck. A rough, unnaturally gruff voice spoke out, "Chal saale jitna bhi maal hai nikal. Nahi toh idhar hi ghused dunga!" Yadav started whimpering, begging for mercy when he saw someone come in front of him and punched him in the stomach. Yadav doubled over and fell to the ground in pain. He cried, "Aaj dhanda bilkul nahi hua hai. Paise nahi hai mere paas. chhod do mujhe!"
Enraged at him, his attackers started kicking him. Yadav tried to defend himself but found himself being lifted up and pinned from the back by one while the other brandished his long knife. His attacker raised his hand and struck at Yadav in a stabbing motion.

Yadav closed his eyes shut anticipating the tremendous pain that would surely follow. But all he heard was a stunned gasp from the guy behind him. He felt himself being released. He opened his eyes. He would never forget the sight that lay before him. The attacker with the knife was lying on the ground knocked out cold.

Standing over his comatose body was a really chubby, short man in a long dark cape, dark blue three-fourths and wearing a black mask on his face with bat-like ears. The attacker behind Yadav, gave out a loud shout of anger and rushed at this costumed creature. But before he could reach him, someone came flying out of the darkness and kicked his legs from under him. The dacoit fell over . He tried to get up again but a kick from this new comer knocked him out cold too.

Yadav stared at this new guy. He was thin in stature, deceptively thin, considering how nimbly and swiftly he had taken out the attacker. He too was wearing a cape and a mask over him, but was wearing pink shorts inside out.

Yadav gasped out loud "Kaun hai aap?"

The thin masked guy replied, "Hum kaun hai is se tumhe koi matlab nahi. Bas itna jaan lo ki ab yeh log tumhe ya kisee aur ko pareshan nahi karenge."

The fat masked guy "Haan aur yeh bhi jaan lo ki hum tumhare sev puri ke bade fan hai!"

He tossed a card to Yadav and just as that, both of them vanished.

In the dim streetlight Yadav saw the following words monogrammed on it:

BatBubba & Abnerobin
Mallu Brothers from different mothers.