I guess when the time comes for me to hang up my boots, to retire from whatever career path i will have trod in the opaque future, I will probably end up writing a book based upon the title of this post.
I seem to have this curious knack of turning very good friends away from me in just a moment of unexplained lunacy.
It happens thus, The day begins, the morning shows no signs of this being a day out of the ordinary. A chance circumstance causes me to meet up with my friend, a topic comes up and then in a stupendous mind boggling display of insanity I say something or do something that causes extreme anguish or hurt to my friend and just like that we are friends no more.
I like to end friendships with a single line - "Have a nice life!"
On second thoughts maybe that should be the title of my book.
And then just like that a once strong close friendship is broken.
The reasons why these events occur, in a alarmingly frequent rate nowadays, never stands up to even a cursory scrutiny later on. Try as I might I cannot explain why I behave the way I do.
Do we all have these demons locked up away in our brains which are released all of a sudden which make us lash out in a selfish, callous, irrational manner. Is this an indication of a deep rooted psychosis, which makes me destroy things that meant something special to me at one time? I guess it's called foot in the mouth disease, but the rush of blood to my brain that precedes it choking off the air supply to all my brain cells which are good and just and rational is inexplicable.
I have this thing, this fad where I like to observe my actions at a later date dispassionately, from a third party perspective. Somehow these observations always tend to come to the conclusion that I was in the wrong. Or maybe these conclusions are not so dispassionate or unbiased as I perceive them to be. Maybe they are clouded by the overwhelming feeling of self-hatred that I possess and which tends to consume me from time to time. Or maybe this is all just crap!
God! I need to stop overanalysing so much!
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1 comment:
umm santi which friend did u lose?
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