Prejudice

I am an educated individual. I am a free thinking spirit.
I cannot be bothered with petty biases based on race, gender or sexual orientation.

That is what I used to think. I am not so sure any more. I will illustrate the reason behind this doubt that has crept to my mind with a few examples.

1. The 'not so straight' path

I have always felt that I have no problems with anyone being gay or lesbian. It's their choice on how they wish to live and society has no right to impose its wishes on them as long as they are not hurting anybody else.

At a recent party I went to, A friend of mine introduced me to someone who goes about declaring that he is openly gay. He extended his hand to shake. And I felt this sudden feeling of revulsion creep all over my body. As though, if I shake his hand he might take this as a sign of interest, that he might make a move on me. I did shake the proferred hand, smiled a weak hello and got the hell out of there.

I was afraid that he might make a move on me?
What gave me this ridiculous idea? I know that girls don't find me attractive. No girl would ever make a move on me, then why would a guy? I was shocked to see that at a subconscious level I was so prejudiced and more so that the subconscious had taken over the conscious in such an overwhelming manner.
Even with this feeling of guilt sinking in, I still made sure that I kept a safe distance from him. Why? I don't know.

And the scary thing is I am not sure how I will behave if I am ever placed in another such situation.

2. Different Gods?

I was travelling in a local train to Dadar. At Kandivili, a man with a long beard carrying a large plastic bag came at sat in the seat facing me. He was wearing a traditional white circular cap on his head. As you may have guessed he was a Muslim. After the blasts that took place in Mumbai last year, things have nver been the same for me when I travel by trains. Mumbai may have pulled itself together and limped back to normalcy within a couple days after the serial blasts but I still feel uncomfortable sometimes. I lost a friend to the blasts.

I had been feeling sleepy, yet all of a sudden I was awake. I kept one eye on him throughout the journey, waiting to see If he would suddenly leave without the bag.
Would I have done the same thing If the guy wasn't a Muslim? I'm sure there have been so many times when other people have carried large bags with them in the train and yet I had not been so minutely aware of each and every of their movements.

3. Who is the 'Lower Class'?

I had gotten this huge stye in my eye. I cannot stand any sort of disfigurement to my face. This may sound funny coming from a guy who has over the years suffered a number of pimples on his face which left small craters that are still visible. But its true. Our maid (the dear soul has been with us since I was 6) gave me a number of small plastic pods containing some liquid. She told me to put that gel in my eye and my stye would be cured within a couple of days.
I took the pods, but never made use of them, simply because my maid had given them to me, thence I was dubious of the quality of the medicine.

After carrying that cursed stye for more than a week without any signs of it diminishing, I finally went to the doctor (I hate going to doctors. Hence the delay.) And guess what this doctor gave me along with some tablets. The very same plastic pods our maid had given me. And I did use these ones which the doctor gave.

I have put forth the above examples objectively but don't claim that I have learnt from them or that they are incidents that have made me see the light and change my ways.

They just serve to illustrate the point that prejudices exist within us(ok maybe just me) that we are not aware of but put into practice every day.
I am not a racist, sexist or a bigot, but I sometimes act that way, however minor their severity may be.

And unfortunately thats the way things stand.
Signing out.