The breakdown of my body

I write this post while I am in a moderate amount of pain!

My job is taking a toll on me mentally and physically. Maybe it's not the job but the gruelling journey that I need to undertake daily as well as the accompanying pollution that greets me on the road is responsible.

But finally it is me who also has to shoulder part of the blame for following a regimen in which exercise is the one major missing component!

I can literally feel my health deteriorating all the while. Physical pain is one thing, but the mental agony that comes when you are dependent on others for routine day - to - day activities is the actual killer.

Recently I suffered a spasm in my back which had me bed - ridden for two days. In the initial period I couldn't get out of my bed without the help of my patient, ever -caring parents. That moment right then was when my eyes actually welled up, not because of the pain or because of the weakness, but because I just couldn't handle this scenario. For one dark moment I realize how paralysed or otherwise invalid people must feel.

It is a curiously disturbing experience. To have that sinking realization within you that the things you used to do in the past without even thinking about it - walking, running, jumping would never be possible again is phenomenally spirit- crushing and mind numbingly devastating.

Of course the spasm passed and I have recovered to an extent that I can resume work duties and can sit in front of the PC for elongated periods of time working in the office or typing crappy shit pieces like this in my home.


But that one incident made me realize how precious my body is, how valuable and sensitive and achingly personal a resource it is. This was a warning. Clear and Simple. My body won't tolerate abuse through inactivity any more.

Its either Change or Wither your life away.